Called You by Accident

I have been

eating

and crying

and watching re-runs on a damaged television

and walking the dogs,

three times,

each.

I have been craving drugs I’ve only seen in movies.

I want to feel like the Dude or

like I’m

Fear and Loathing in Miami,

because I am.

I have been playing Sim City

checking my likes on Instagram

or texting my girlfriends

who know I’m only texting them

because you’re gone

and I don’t know what to do with this device

but call you

and I can’t give in.

But they forgive me

and indulge me

and flatter me

and it still hurts.

I have been hoping

you’d swoop in

like some medieval street play’s

Deus ex machina

because keeping you from being an Ex is

God’s job.

But there is no miracle

and there are no witnesses

to this shamble of a play

as I pretend to not notice you’re gone

so that I can pretend to be surprised

and pretend I didn’t expect the universe to make this work for me

or like i haven’t spent this entire time dying for

you to call.

and that damned Iphone

made me

call you by accident.

And…

you didn’t answer.

And I have been wondering

why not.

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6 thoughts on “Called You by Accident

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